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"You are the only one who can make you happy." We have all heard that so many times in our lives.

There are times it is a pretty tough pill to swallow. In reality, the people that surround you have a huge impact on your current mood. When your children are grumpy in the morning, you find a nice pile the dog left you over night, you hit the road and the traffic won't allow you your normal speed, then when you get to work and your co-worker called in sick... these are all things that might contribute to your overall Happiness of the day.

However, moods and temporary emotions are not the same as happiness. Happiness exists when you look at the overall picture of your life and you smile, that is happiness. You know those times when you can't wait for your children to go to bed, then later you check on the kids and you almost cry because they look exactly like angels... YOUR ANGELS, sleeping so sweetly and soundly. You can hardly remember a time of irritation with them. That is Happiness.

As life progresses and changes, we realize that who we are, (what makes us, us)... that is what we are responsible for. We know that immediate gratification or irritation only pacifies or deteriorates our emotional stimuli short term. Our global view of how we see ourselves determines our state of mind. Our state of mind determines our Happiness.

So, how do we take control of our emotions and find the path of Happiness? This seems to be the million dollar question. There are tons of books on or related to the subject. You could read and practice until you are completely confused. Or, we could spend the rest of our life introspectively evaluating what makes us happy. Which might take more time and energy and actually frustrate us more.

How about this? What if we looked at ourselves and decided what we liked and didn't like and set about making changes. It doesn't have to be major alterations. Maybe you are tired of your house but can't afford to move. Try painting the living room or buying flowers to set on the kitchen table. If you haven't had a vacation for awhile and just can't afford to take that cruise, go camping instead.

Maybe the issues are more personal or internal. Do you get mad too easily? Learn yoga or meditation. Are you having marital problems? Visit a counselor. Are the kids having discipline issues? Determine the major issues, establish guidelines on how you are going to correct the problem and stick to it.

You may be saying, 'Sure, that sounds so easy but...' Of course it sounds easy. Problems are always easier to talk about than to take the obvious actions to fix them. But, for the most part, things are as difficult or as easy as we determine them to be. Sometimes we just make things harder than necessary.

If your unHappiness stems from a situation beyond your control then find other ways to compensate. If, for example, money is so tight and no apparent windfall is coming your way any time soon, find inexpensive entertainment. Backyard ballgames, picnics in the park, movie night with popcorn and snacks in your bedroom are a few alternatives to an expensive night out. If the issues are more serious and you feel powerless, that is the time to seek professional help.

Otherwise, look in the mirror and be glad. If you don't like what you see, change it. Make the solution that simple!

“你是唯一一個(gè)可以讓自己幸福的人?！蔽覀兛偸锹?tīng)到有人說(shuō)我們還有很多的時(shí)間。

那些時(shí)間就像在吞咽一顆苦澀的藥片讓人無(wú)奈。事實(shí)上，你圍繞在你周圍的人會(huì)對(duì)你的心情會(huì)有相當(dāng)大的影響。例如，早晨你的孩子很不聽(tīng)話，一夜過(guò)后你的夠給你留下一堆特別的東西，你撞到墻上然后交通又限制你正常速度，當(dāng)你開(kāi)始工作時(shí)你的同事打電話說(shuō)他身體不適等等，這些事情都將會(huì)影響你一整天的幸福感覺(jué)。

然而，心情和暫時(shí)的情感都是不能和幸福相提并論的。幸福存在于你看到你生活的整個(gè)畫(huà)面時(shí)，你面帶微笑。是的，這才是幸福。你知道的，你沒(méi)能等到你孩子去睡覺(jué)，但是當(dāng)去檢查他們睡得是否安好時(shí)，你幾乎能流淚，因?yàn)樗麄兯檬侨绱说南闾?，就像是天使……你的天使。你似乎不記得他們?cè)凶屔鷼獾臅r(shí)候了。這才是幸福。

隨著生活的變化和提高，我們開(kāi)始認(rèn)識(shí)到我們是誰(shuí)，（是什么早就了現(xiàn)在的我們，我們…）…我們的責(zé)任是什么。我們知道一時(shí)的滿足和煩惱只是使我們使情緒得到短暫安慰或惡化。我們對(duì)我們自己的整體看法才會(huì)決定我們精神狀態(tài)，而我們的精神狀態(tài)又決定我們的幸福。

于是，我們要如何來(lái)控制我們的情緒，進(jìn)而發(fā)現(xiàn)通往幸福的捷徑呢？這似乎是一個(gè)價(jià)值連城的問(wèn)題。已經(jīng)有成噸重的書(shū)對(duì)這個(gè)主題進(jìn)行了闡述或涉及。你可以讀讀這些書(shū)并依此付諸實(shí)踐，知道你徹底迷茫；或者，我們可以用我們余下的時(shí)間來(lái)反思和評(píng)估是什么讓我們幸福。這些可能占有我們更多的時(shí)間和精力和帶給我們更多的挫敗。

那么如果我們這樣做呢？我們?nèi)绻茸晕覍徱曇环?，然后決定什么是我們喜歡的，什么是我們不喜歡的，接著開(kāi)始改變。沒(méi)有必要一定是大的變化。例如，可能你已經(jīng)厭倦了你現(xiàn)在的房子，但是你又沒(méi)有錢(qián)新買房搬家。那么你可以試著給你的房間刷上新的油漆，或者買一些花放到你的餐桌上?？赡苣銢](méi)有一個(gè)完整的長(zhǎng)假去做長(zhǎng)途旅行，那么你可以嘗試去露營(yíng)。

這些話題可能太個(gè)人化或者內(nèi)心化。你太容易發(fā)火嗎？那就學(xué)習(xí)瑜伽或者嘗試沉思吧！你有婚姻問(wèn)題嗎？那就去咨詢一下婚姻顧問(wèn)吧！你的孩子存在一些紀(jì)律問(wèn)題嗎？那你可以找出主要問(wèn)題，然后列出你打算改正這個(gè)問(wèn)題的綱領(lǐng)并持之以恒。

你可能會(huì)說(shuō)，“是的，這些聽(tīng)起來(lái)很簡(jiǎn)單，但是……”這聽(tīng)起來(lái)當(dāng)然簡(jiǎn)單。談?wù)搯?wèn)題總是比付諸行動(dòng)去解決問(wèn)題要簡(jiǎn)單的多。然而，問(wèn)題是困難的還是簡(jiǎn)單的全憑我們解決的決心的大小。有時(shí)我們可能把問(wèn)題復(fù)雜化了。

如果你不幸福的原因是來(lái)源于一種你無(wú)法控制的情形，那你可以尋找其他方法來(lái)加以彌補(bǔ)。譬如，如果你生活拮據(jù)并且不太有可能會(huì)突然大發(fā)橫財(cái)，那就找比較便宜的娛樂(lè)方式。比如，后院足球，公園野餐，看電影吃爆米花或者在臥室享受零食，做一些選擇來(lái)期待一次昂貴的外出。如果問(wèn)題比較嚴(yán)重而你有感到無(wú)力，這時(shí)你就應(yīng)該向?qū)I(yè)人士來(lái)尋求幫助。

然而，看著鏡子中的你很快樂(lè)。如果你不喜歡你所看到的，那就改變它。解決的方法很簡(jiǎn)單。

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